A Blessing in Disguise.

I have been reading a wonderful book called, The History of Love.  It is a fantastic, thought provoking, and utterly mystifying novel.  Told in a dual perspective style, this book shows many levels of the coming of age experience.  One perspective is a teenage girl named Alma, and one is an old man named Leo Gursky.  Leo had written a book for his young love when he was a young man.  Alma is named after both the character in the book he wrote (called the "History of Love") and his lost love.  In order to find themselves and grow up, both characters must learn about their lives and how these people's lives are interconnected.  In the History of Love, these two protagonists must face struggles in order to come of age.

The teenage character, Alma, has many struggles to overcome.  Alma is not your everyday teenage girl.  She is a child who has had to be strong and deal with horrible things at a young age.  The obstacles she must face are things that anyone would crumble under the pressure from.  For example, Alma's father died when she was nine and she has had to help care for her brother and herself, and help her mother overcome her grief.  Alma has a particularly difficult job in controlling and helping to raise her brother, Bird.  Bird believes he is the messiah, and that a flood is going to come, and that he is the one to help speak God's word to everyone.  When a parent is so stricken with grief in the way Alma's mother is, they may become absent from their children and forget that their children's world's have been wrecked too.  This is what has happened to Alma's mother.  Alma and Bird have been left to fend for themselves and deal with the death of their father by themselves.  At one point, Bird and Alma are playing a game of denial in which they say everything real is "NOT!" and Bird says, "I! HAVE NOT! BEEN! UNHAPPY! MY WHOLE! LIFE!", to which Alma responds with, "But you're only seven,".  This is what can happen to children if their parents fail to the effects of trauma on their children.  At one point Alma says, "ONE THING I AM NEVER GOING TO DO WHEN I GROW UP.  Is fall in love, drop out of college, learn to subsist on water and air, have a species named after me, and ruin my life.”.  When Alma says this she is saying that she wants to be nothing like her mother, and never will give up on life.  Alma also must try and find out who she is, even with all these burdens on top of her.  These burdens actually do end up leading to her finding out who she is, who she wants to be, and who her past is. 

Leo Gursky carried his burden all the way from Europe.  Leo is so in love with the woman he can never get back, that he is in a state of illusion.  He was infatuated with this woman, to a point that he devoted his life and his writing to her.  For example, at one point he says, “Then she kissed him. Her kiss was a question he wanted to spend his whole life answering.”.  Leo loves Alma so much.  To him, she is his entire life.  He believes that no matter wether she loves him or not he must love her for always, “And if the man who once upon a time had been a boy who promised he'd never fall in love with another girl as long as he lived kept his promise, it wasn't because he was stubborn or even loyal. He couldn't help it.”.  There is nothing that Leo knows about himself other than that, he is in love with Alma, and he is a writer.  He has no life but her. He even followed her to America to rekindle their love.  However, this leads Leo to finally finding his life in America.  In the end Leo's obstacle of love leads him to finding himself, even if it is in death.  He learns that he does not need Alma anymore.  This quote from the end says this perfectly, "Or he died thinking about Alma.  Or when he chose not to.” 

To sum up, to finally find yourself, come of, age, grow up,you must first overcome burdens, obstacles, and struggles.  These struggles do make you stronger, more powerful, and more unique.  When someone goes of a journey to find themselves they learn more about themselves and their loved ones than they thought they would.  “Suffering has been stronger than all other teaching, and has taught me to understand what your heart used to be. I have been bent and broken, but - I hope - into a better shape.” 
― Charles Dickens, Great Expectations
P.S. It is really a great book.
       Please read it.
       Please!
       PLEASE!

The HIstory of Love?

To be honest, when Ms Robbins recommended a book called The History of Love to me, my initial reaction (in my mind) was, "Oh no, Ms Robbins thinks I'm THAT kind of girl...."  I'm so beyond glad I didn't give up on this book based solely on it's title.  This book is odd, yet still enthralling and very well written.  It is written in the split perspective style, mainly from the views of a young teen girl named Alma, and an elderly man named Leo Gursky.  Leo Gursky is a very old man, waiting for death, living in New York City.  He is an immigrant from the Nazi Era, who came here to both escape the Nazis and reconnect with his great love, Alma.  Now, this love is a different Alma, the same Alma as in the book within the book, The History of Love, this is the Alma that the teenage Alma is named after.  Alma is a teenage girl who is struggling with the coming of age experience, despite the strange conditions she faces at home.  Her mother is deep in her grief from Alma's father dying when she was nine years old, her brother thinks he is the next messiah, and her mother is translating the book, The History of Love, for a client whom Alma is trying to set up with her mother.  As you can see, there is quite a bit going on in this book.  In The History of Love, the reader can witness two separate coming of age experiences with two very different people.

Leo Gursky, despite his advanced age is actually coming of age.  I think that when people reflect on themselves and their lives they are developing and growing.  For example, at one point he says, "Then he did the hardest thing he'd ever had to do in his life, he picked up his hat and walked away."  He says this when recollecting a time when he had finally tracked down his Alma and she basically tells him the have a child together and that she never wants to see or hear from him again.  This quote expresses an important lesson to learn as you grow up, sometimes you must get up and walk away from something you love more than yourself.  Can you imagine having someone or something you love so much that you travel across the sea to track down, only to get to their doorstep, be told you have a child, and be rejected by the person you love more than your life in your home country?  Leo Gursky must have had to grow up quite a bit in a matter of moments when faced with rejection and the news that he had created a life.  Also, at one point he recounts a memory of spending the seemingly endless time he had as a teenager with Alma.  He remembers them learning words in English together, looking them up in the dictionary and repeating the words.  At one point Leo asks Alma how to say a word and she tells him she doesn't know, Leo connects this memory with her sending him a letter saying, "When will you learn there isn't a word for everything?"  This is an interesting question.  Leo looks too hard for words, rules, guidelines, even directions for life.  Alma is saying that he has to stop in order too finally grow up.  Leo, even this late in his life still can grow as a result of remembering these experiences, he can still change.

Alma is at a perfect moment in her life to be growing and changing and coming of age.  She is an adolescent, in a slightly dysfunctional family.  She grows in a normal fashion for an adolescent, she goes through many stages.  For example, she goes through a stage of embarrassment at her family, a common thing for adolescents to do.  At one point she is talking to her brother and she says, "Just try to be normal.  You have to at least try."  This is a very common thing for teenagers to do, they suddenly become very aware of who their family is, what they do, and whether it effects the public view of them.  Another thing she says is, "I decided to learn to survive in the wild like my father.  It would be good to know in case anything happened to mom, leaving bird and I to fend for ourselves."  This is an example of a teenager trying to support other people in order to feel strong and supported.  She is preparing to support a whole other life and survive in the footsteps of her father.  Doing this lets her be more like her father and feel strong.  Alma is going through the motions like any other teenager, except she has a more exceptional situation, with a brother, no father, and a vulnerable mother.

The History of Love is a fantastic book.  I cannot suggest it more.  The characters are intertwined beautifully, with fascinating lives of their own.  I definitely recommend it, don't judge it at first glance like me!

Creepy Peter

I just finished the book Peter Pan by J. M. Barrie.  A mischievous boy who can fly, and magically refuses to grow up, Peter Pan spends his never-ending childhood adventuring on the small island of Neverland as the leader of his gang, The Lost Boys. They all interact with mermaids, natives, fairies, pirates, and from time to time, meeting ordinary children from the outside world.  The story is about how Peter meets a young girl named Wendy, and her two brothers, John, and Michael.  Peter brings the children to Neverland one night when their parents are out, and their aunt is babysitting.  On the surface it seems like an ordinary children’s book, but when you look deeper it is so much more.  It is the story of a kidnapping and Stockholm Syndrome, two very adult issues.
        The story of Peter Pan is dominated by a kidnapping.  While it may appear that the children go to Neverland willingly, you can also interpret it as Peter kidnapping Wendy, John, and Michael.  The point at which the kidnapping occurs is when Peter sneaks into their home and takes them to an unknown world, Neverland.  He comes in and tells them all about Neverland and about how amazing it is, in order to make them want to come, and leave their life in London behind.  Peter only tells of the good things, never the bad.  Wendy hesitates.  She doesn’t want to leave her whole life behind just to live in Neverland.  But, Peter entices her to come with tales of mermaids, which Wendy loves.  There is no need to change the boys’ opinions, for they are already packing to leave. Peter is very good at persuading and seducing people; he is very convincing.  Another example is that Peter has this troupe of “Lost Boys” and they are all orphans, but orphans or not, they were kidnapped, by Peter Pan.  The story goes to say that the boys fell out of their perambulators as babies, Peter took the boys and raised them as his family.  I think that all Peter wants is to have a family.  That is the reason that he took the boys, and enticed Wendy to come and be their mother.  Even if his motives are innocent, Peter is a kidnapper to satisfy his emotional needs.
    The story of Peter Pan is actually very dark.  The children even develop a syndrome known as Stockholm Syndrome.  Stockholm Syndrome is when a person who is kidnapped begins to feel compassion for their kidnappers.  For instance, when Wendy is about to leave Neverland, she turns back, right before she leaves and looks at Peter sadly.  Through the story, Wendy begins to love Peter, even though he kidnapped her.  Another aspect of Stockholm Syndrome is when you almost forget who you really are.  In the story, John and Michael forget their old life.  They start to think of Wendy as their real mother, and forget their actual mother and their actual home.  A large part of Peter Pan is about Stockholm Syndrome.
    Peter Pan is a very dark, and deep story.  There are many ways to look at it.  It can be about a child, who never wants to grow up, or about a young kidnapper.  It’s very creepy, and odd.  It is not only a children’s book, the underlying story is scary.  I think that the story of Peter Pan can be related to the story of Patty Hearst, both include girls who were kidnapped and developed love to their kidnappers, except, Patty’s story is REAL!

Romeo and Juliet is a story of young love, violence, destiny, and hate.  This captivating tale is told by many.  One in particular is the modern day movie.  Baz Luhrman directed this film starring Leonardo DiCaprio and Claire Danes.  In Baz Luhrman's Romeo and Juliet, Baz Luhrman uses both color and sound in very interesting ways by themselves and together.

The use of color in this movie is wonderful.  Baz Luhrman uses color to change the viewers feelings.  He uses it all the time in sets, costumes, and props.  He also uses it when editing the film.  These changes set an aura and tone for the scene.  For example when Juliet and Lady Capulet talk about Juliet's marriage to Paris, the scene is very happy because the colors in the rooms and costumes are brightly colored.  Also, in the scene when Romeo and his friends are escaping the party the scene seems harsh and scary because the color scheme is dark and clouded.  I think Baz Luhrman does a fantastic job of conveying important feelings by using color.

Baz Luhrman's use of sounds and music is very interesting.  He uses the soundtrack to help convey the emotion the scene should spark in the viewer.  He accentuates certain noises like guns falling, shooting, cigarettes being stomped out, and, water falling.  These noises are very important to the movie so he makes them excessively loud to show how important they are.  He also uses the music to help send the right emotion.  For example in the scene where Mercutio dies the music is pounding so it tells the viewer to feel scared.  I think his use of music and sound is really great and has a huge effect on the movie.

When these two come together magic happens.  He uses different colors and sounds to express feelings or tones.  When he puts the sound and color together the feeling you had with each one alone becomes much stronger.  For example in the scene when Romeo and Juliet kill themselves the music is soft and sad, the colors are dark in the scenery but light and white in the costumes and props.  This creates a very mixed feeling.  In this scene the colors and sounds create the melancholy feeling Baz Luhrman wants you to feel.  These aspects of the movie affect the viewer a lot.

Identical? ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!

*SPOILER ALERT*
Right now I am in the middle of a Ellen Hopkins marathon!  I love Ellen Hopkins and have been waiting to read a few of her books because in 6th grade when I read Crank for the first time I was scared to death for weeks.  I'm not kidding.  After that terrifying experience I decided to wait at least a year to read her other books.  In the past weekI have made my way through Crank (for a second- much less scary-time) and am already 3/4 done with Identical.  I adore Identical!  It's about these two identical (duh!) twin sisters who are trapped in a crumbling family.  These two girls are perceived as being two identical people, but they are so FAR from it.

Raeanne is a very complicated character.  She has so many different Raeannes bottled up inside her.  She claims a few time that she is unlike her sister who is frigid and keeps everything bottled up inside her, but I think she is.  She has an exterior that is tough and seemingly relaxed.  She is a stoner and has a series of terrible boyfriends. She is also bulimic.  Her explanation was that it helps her feel in control, she says it really isn't about body image.  She is using drugs, alcohol, and boys to cope with the lack of attention from her father.  She is jealous of her sisters closeness with her father.  She knows how sick it is that she wants a sexual relationship with her father, but all she really wants is a little love.  I feel awful for Raeanne, but at the same time I want her to wake up and smell the flowers.  I wish she'd just realize that there are better things to want than a sick man's love, but then again, how can poor Raeanne help it?

Kaeleigh is the opposite of Raeanne.  Kaeleigh has had to deal with one of the worst things possible.  Her father sexually abuses her.  She has to deal with this in many ways.  She closes herself off to other people by being "frigid".  She is also excels in school and is involved in everything to get away.  She tries to stay far far away from home.  She is a binge eater.  She eats because she wants curves because she wants to be the opposite of "daddy's image"and he likes thin.  She eats to become her mother because that relationship fell apart.  She also cuts herself to feel better.  She doesn't wants any of the attention her dad gives her.  She also wants her mother's love while Raeanne has given up on her mother.  I have so much pity for her but as with her sister I can't help wanting to shake her awake just to try to fix her.

This book is an incredible novel, but it's really disturbing.  Once you get over the initial shock of the story and all their problems you start to see the characters.  This is when you see their internal problems and true differences.  I want to read it again and just read to learn more about Kaeleigh and Raeanne.

Summer, the Lower East Side, c. 1937

"The people loved their children and, no matter how poor they might be, they managed to dig up the money for my pictures. I would finish the photographs on the contrastiest paper I could get in order to give the kids nice, white, chalky faces. My customers, who were Italian, Polish, or Jewish, liked their pictures dead white."

Weegee by Weegee: An Autobioography, 1961

This is what Weegee said about this photograph This photo was probably taken for a family or as a part of a study.  He studied the Lower West Side of New York City quite a bit.  I love this photo and all of Weegee's stuff.  (if you like it here's the link to more of his stuff: http://museum.icp.org/museum/collections/special/weegee/)

This is a photograph of children playing in the street in the summer.  I love this photograph because of all the details subtly hidden in it.  The little boy running isn't wearing a bathing suit, just his underwear.  In fact im pretty sure they all are just wearing clothes, not swimwear.  All the kids in the picture are as Weegee says, "white, chalky faces."They all look beyond happy to be playing in the water.  The adults in the background are all working and look hot as blazes.  They stare at their children with adoring faces.  The water they are playing in is coming from the fire hydrant.  All the children look very young, except the two boys in the middle.  The buildings in the background look big, but at the same time a little run down.  The block looks incredibly hot and uncomfortable, but everyone in the photo looks so happy to be there.

This is an incredible photograph.  I really love it.  I think one of the reasons why I love it so much is because even though it only shows one social class, it explains the class system at the time (1937)  These people quite obviously are pretty poor, but they love their lives.  Another reason this photo is so interesting is because they are so happy.  These people must have very difficult lives, but they appreciate their lives so much.  I think that in the eyes of Weegee these people were just people who were too darn hot and needed a break from life.  I think he wanted to show a different side of the people who were automatically judged because they didn't have a lot of money.    I love the physical layout of the picture, but I also love the idea behind it.

The way these people are so happy is incredible to me.  I think it's really interesting how they appreciate the little things they have, all because they don't have a lot.

Poem

The three poetic devices I used in my poem were rhyme scheme, repetition, and metaphor.

It's hot as hell today
I swear the house is burning
It will burn and crisp away

Like a fire blazing
spreading far and wide
heat's really hell raising

It's hot as hell today
I'm running down the stairs
into the heat soiree

The hot air makes me feel annoyed
stuffed in and combusted
The house feels near destroyed

It's hot as hell today
I sweat like a pig
But I'll try to make my way

The water feels nice
on my steaming back
a cold patter of ice

It's hot as hell today

I swear the house is burning

It will burn and crisp away

AND THE AWARD GOES TO.........!

LEAH!  I want to recognize Leah for writing consistently interesting engaging and thought provoking blog posts.  Her writing is always sophisticated, complex, and yet somehow she manages to work magic and make everything crystal clear!  I really enjoy reading her posts and she has caused me to read at least two books!  Recently she wrote a great post about the book Give a Boy a Gun.  Just look at the title and tell me you don't want to read her post, I dare you.  All in all, if you need a fantastic mentor for blog posts Leah is your girl.

Here's the link: http://www.writinguponreading.blogspot.com/

P.S. Even if you already have a mentor READ LEAH'S POSTS!

Do I Belong?

I am currently reading the book Angela's Ashes by Frank McCourt.  It is incredible!  I really love it!  In the book Angela's Ashes, the main character is Frank McCourt himself.  The book is all about his childhood and about his growing up partly in “The New World” (America) and partly in “The Homeland” (Ireland).  I think a big part of this book is fitting in.  A big theme is belonging.  Frank doesn’t belong in New York, or in Ireland.
    Frank doesn’t belong in New York, where he was born.  In New York, Frank is the Irish kid.  Frank is an outcast because of where his parents were born.  People don’t accept him because everyone in America is an immigrant.  For example, his neighbors are Jewish, and even though they are sweet people.  Frank can’t really play or fit in with their son because of their nationality differences.  Another example of his not belonging, is how when he is looking for his father in the bars, the men in the bars are all of one nationality or another.  When he asks for a Malachy (his father’s name) they all say no because the name is not of their nationality or group.  Frank isn’t really a part of New York.
    Frank doesn’t belong in Ireland either.  In Ireland, Frank is the ‘Yankee’ kid. 
Frank doesn’t know squat about what to do in Ireland.  For example in school he gets punished a lot because he doesn’t understand religious customs of Ireland.  Another example of how he doesn’t belong is that when his grandmother meets him she gets angry because he is an American.  Even his grandmother doesn’t accept him all because of his nationality.  Frank doesn’t really belong to Ireland either.
    In conclusion, I think Frank doesn’t really belong anywhere.  Frank is kind of in between worlds, he is not fully Irish or fully American in a sense.  Frank would need to commit fully to one world in order to finally belong completely.  This idea of belonging reminds me of Funny Girl, and how in that movie Fanny doesn’t quite belong to the theatre or to Mr Arnstein , or to Henry Street, or to The Follies.

Two people, Two stories

 I am reading the book The Elegance of the Hedgehog by Muriel Barbery.  It's a book that was originally written in French.  It's beautifully written and has an incredibly interesting plot.  The main characters in the story are Paloma and Renee.  Paloma is a genius twelve year old.  She is growing up in a very rich family and really doesn't agree with their ideals most of the time.  Renee is the cranky old concierge that works in the building that Paloma lives in.  Even though they seem so different they actually are pretty similar in the end.

Paloma is an incredibly smart and interesting twelve year old.  Her family is very rich and prestigious.  She is planning on taking her life when she turns thirteen.  The reason she has decided to do this is because she really hates her family.  The thing is, she doesn't hate them, she almost feels sorry for them.  She believes the way they act is fake and hollow.  She understands why they act the way they do, but she doesn't comprehend why they believe in the things they do.  Her mother fills her emptiness by taking care of plants, her sister pretends to be worldly and intelligent, and her father throws dinner parties.  They are all so fake.  Paloma feels like the only real person she knows.  She has real interests and passions, for example she loves Japanese culture.  She hates the world she lives in.  Little does she know, someone real is right next door.

Renee is the  only other real person nearby.  On the outside Renee is a cranky old concierge.  When you dig a little deeper, you see a very interesting and intelligent person.  She is obsessed with incredibly advanced Russian novels and Japanese culture too, like Paloma.  She is sophisticated and smart, but because of these fake people's expectations, she is kept silent and seemingly dumb or stupid.  Because she works for these fake people, she hides her true personality so they are happy.  They are only when everyone decides to assimilate to their stereotypes.  She must hate getting turned off by these insignificant people.  I think it's so ridiculous that a real person be shut down like that.

I, like Paloma and Renee don't understand the fake culture that people practice everywhere.  The world they live in is filled to the brim with these kind of people. I would hate to have to deal with the artificiality everyday.